i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
