I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
