i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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