so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
