By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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