Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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