I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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