hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
