just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
