is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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