I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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