My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
True strength comes from lack of pants
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
