OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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