You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize