I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize