Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize