Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
