I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
