good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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