my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
