do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
