Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
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for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
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Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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