We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
