Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
