He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
