but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
