K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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