listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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