Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
