wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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