yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She's the barista slut.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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