forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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