My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
