I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
