the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
