If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
