Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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