remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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