Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
