I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
