:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her