dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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