and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.