Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
