My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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