I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket