Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
