just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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