I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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