i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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