32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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