dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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