Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm at about main and main street
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
