Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
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we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
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Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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