you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
