some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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