I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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