Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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