normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Randomize
