did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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