where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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