His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
