The maid of honor just puked.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
