If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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