What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
