Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
