I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
