Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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