it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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