How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
