big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
All I want is dick and wine.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize