I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
