YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
