ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
