she woke up with a sticky ear
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
