you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
