I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize