lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
