I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
