Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
